When your survival brain interprets your experience as too much; when you can’t communicate or take action, this is known as the freeze state.
Your survival responses (fight/flight/freeze) happen below the level of your conscious awareness, so in that moment you don’t get to choose, it’s instinctive. It’s really helpful to understand that this happens automatically and instantly, and it’s not your fault.
The freeze response, where you might feel paralysed or unable to move, is the response most often linked to dissociation. You detach from feelings, bodily sensations and reality in order to provide a ‘mental shield’ from your experiences.
This immobilisation is a highly adaptive response to an inescapable, life threatening traumatic event such as during a war, a car accident or injury, painful medical procedures, abuse in relationships, or unsafe environments.
You are in freeze or a shutdown state (also known as the dorsal vagal state), because the body becomes stock-still and releases endorphins to increase your tolerance to pain and to numb your mind and body. This happens so that you are less distressed and do not feel the events that are happening in terms of pain and emotions.
This is the body’s way of protecting you on a psychological level. You may also have heard it described as “being in a state of shock.” In the short term it helps you to cope, but in the long term, dissociation has negative effects on the body and the neurological system. You cannot take care of your emotions, you don’t feel connected to your bodily sensations, you are emotionally numb and struggle with decision making abilities.
Society often praises the fight response. The freeze state is like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car. So survivors who are immobilised often blame themselves for not fighting back or getting away from the traumatic event. “Why didn’t I say something or stand up for myself instead of freezing?” Due to a lack of understanding of how the nervous system works, you may feel judged, shamed and your inner critic says that there is something wrong with you.
Studies have shown that one of the primary areas of the brain for expression, known as the Broca’s area, goes off line when we have very high levels of fear. This is why simply talking about what’s happening when you’re in this freeze state is not helpful. You need to connect with your body.
In an instinctive freeze survival state your physiology changes. When you are in the survival part of your brain, you can’t just be more positive or talk yourself out of it to change it. Talking therapy alone is not enough, it requires body-centred work.
And in the present, when you’re distressed, or if something feels familiar to a previous trauma, or you are triggered you may default to this freeze state, because your nervous system hasn’t processed what has happened or returned to its baseline.
How FREEZE feels emotionally:
Unsafe
Hopeless
Depressed
Exhausted
Overwhelmed
Numb
Separate from your body and emotions
Like I’m dreaming or watching a movie
Don’t fit in or belong (shame)
Alone and misunderstood
How FREEZE feels in the body:
Slower heart rate
Slower breathing rate
Lower temperature (cold hands and feet)
Lower blood pressure
Everything takes too much energy
Decreased vocal range (inability to speak, monotone, lower pitch, quieter volume, slower speech, mumbling)
Postural changes (slumped shoulders, sunken chest, lack of eye contact, fixed gaze, blank expression, head dropped down)
Typical FREEZE behaviours may include:
Low physical energy (Chronic Fatigue)
Forgetfulness, memory issues
Lack of movement
Difficulty thinking clearly
Extreme procrastination
Loss of libido
Daydreaming
Dissociation
Apathy
Exhaustion
Avoidance
Distancing
Withdrawing
Burnout
Binge watching TV/YouTube
Sleeping long hours
Unable to manage workload
Typical FREEZE thought patterns may include:
I’m too tired to try.
There is nothing I can do.
Everything is hopeless.
Nothing I do will ever be good enough.
What do I have to offer?
It will always be like this.
Chronic dissociation can change the signalling between your brain and body that maintains balance in your digestive, endocrine, immune and circulatory systems. These changes may lead to chronic pain and inflammatory illnesses.
In your past the freeze survival state may have become your default response, but it may not be the best response for you to use today. When the survival brain is allowed to process what happened and recover, your default response doesn’t get cued again and again.
Your nervous system needs support to recalibrate to a healthy baseline and learn how to respond to demands in new ways when facing future challenges. Learning how to regulate your nervous system and heal trauma requires learning the language of your body. We cannot regulate what we do not sense and feel.
Embodiment helps you to reconnect slowly back into your body and sensations. This needs to be paced and done gradually with the expert support of an experienced Polyvagal therapist. I welcome the opportunity to help you.
Instead of feeling helpless you can develop the tools to help you to feel more in control when you’re under pressure or in the middle of conflict, so that you can speak up or take action.
Learning how to regulate your own nervous system can change how you feel in your body, how you connect in your relationships and how you live your life.
Are you relieved to learn that being in freeze is not your fault? Does this information resonate with you? I can help to guide you out of freeze and teach you how to effectively reset your nervous system so that you can flourish, enjoy life and feel in control again. Feel free to contact me to arrange a call back carolinekingtherapy@yahoo.com